leaving the mat?

as they walk off the mat for the very last time, great wrestlers such as rulon gardner (left) have often left their shoes or headgear behind. when a wrestler finally steps away from the blood, sweat, and tears of training and competition, it is a ritual of high emotion.

with far less ceremony but similarly high emotion, it looks as though my lad's wrestling career may be coming to an end. despite his top-5 state preseason ranking, tor seems to be walking away from the sport.

i'm baffled but supportive, which has pretty much been my official parenting position since the kids became teenagers. i'm proud of my son's accomplishments, of course, but realize that he's 16 now and this is his call rather than mine.

when i think about why i'm hoping he'll continue, about half of the reasons are noble (e.g., his continued social, mental, and emotional development) and about half of the reasons are completely selfish (e.g., my joy in watching his matches and the closeness i feel in sharing them with him). personally? there's nowhere i'd rather be on a cold january night than watching the big man close out a dual meet before a raucous crowd at mounds view high.

of course, that's easy for me to say. for a dad, it is all gain and no pain. he's the one getting up at 5 am for morning practices, putting his body through the most intense daily workouts of any sport, and walking out in a singlet to go toe-to-toe with some of the toughest young men in the state. all i have to do is show up, cheer on the lads, and bask in the reflected glory. the irony was not lost on me as i was out celebrating victories last year with other parents, while our boys were already asleep back home, exhausted.

so, regardless of whether he ever laces up those wrestling shoes again, tor knows he can count on my full support. i learned at his age that one should never feel compelled to pursue activities just because one happens to do well at them. i also learned, way back then, that we honor our parents with our character and our decency rather than our activities or accomplishments.

moreover, there's nothing stopping me from showing up to cheer on the good guys from mounds view this winter. i might even relax and enjoy the matches more if i'm no longer keeping an eye on tor's opponent the whole time (dang, he's big ... no way that kid's 18 ... who'd he beat? ... no way ... isn't that, like, a prison tattoo?).

thanks to photographer pat finn, i've also managed to squirrel away hundreds of fine pictures that will help tor remember his epic triple-overtime battles and the quieter moments of camaraderie between matches.

thanks to you, my man, for sharing all this with me. i can't wait to see what you'll do next...