the hundred dollar idea: string-light-of-the-month club

it happens every year. when we packed away our christmas lights tonight, a little magic went back into storage. without the warm glow of the li'l string lights, the mantle seems bare, the curtain rod hangs empty in the dining room, and the buffet and sideboard are just sitting there forlorn. we miss 'em already.

i'm a sociologist, so i have very few million dollar ideas. most of my ideas these days involve grand plans for the rational reconstruction of society that are either worthless or priceless, depending on one's perspective. that said, the occasional hundred dollar idea still pops into my head every once in a while.* here's tonight's century-note idea:

how about a string-light-of-the-month club that brings a year-round glow to hearth and home? as a kid, i was mightily impressed by the exotic comestibles my grandparents received as members of the fruit-of-the-month club. today, there are cheese-, olive oil-, wine-, necktie-, and steak-of-the-month clubs. in such a market, my string-light of the month club seems like a no-brainer. i've already roughed out the schedule:

january: snowflakes

february: pink, red or white roses

march: green shamrocks

april: garden gnomes or butterflies

may: walleyes and lures for the fishing opener

june: red chili peppers, of course

july: white stars are tastefully patriotic

august: popsicle or tiki party-on-the-patio lights

september: autumn leaf garland

october: creepy eyes or 'ween queen

november: how about a nice grape cluster?

december: something festive but secular

i'd only use environmentally responsible low-energy bulbs, of course, and i'd ensure that my strings were of sufficient quality to last almost the entire month. this sort of idea would never put harry and david out of business, of course, but it might bring a cool hundred to the distributor and a year-round glow to a few homes.

* i once had a several hundred thousand dollar idea during my tenure as a systems analyst, but a consulting firm managed to spirit off with the not-quite half-million. i got several firm handshakes, pats on the back, and a very nice lunch out of the deal, though.