final four vasectomies: all that and a bag of frozen peas
by now you've seen the stories or heard the radio spots: urologists are pitching march madness as the perfect time to finally take care of that vasectomy.*
"Research shows four out of five guys want to schedule their vasectomy before a major sports event," the Oregon Urology Institute declares in new radio ads. "When March Madness approaches you need an excuse ... to stay at home in front of the big screen," the clinic's radio ad says. "Get your vasectomy at Oregon Urology Institute the day before the tournament starts. It's snip city."
yeesh, the clinic's customers even get a "recovery kit" with sports magazines, fresh pizza, and a bag of frozen peas. such ads prey on dudedom's greatest weaknesses and vulnerabilities. i'd rail against a tubal ligation pitch based on similarly gendered stereotypes, so i'm not even gonna raise the issue of the cultural equivalent to the male final four. yet, the whole idea seems familiar somehow -- maybe there was something like this in a recent margaret atwood novel.
in any case, the pitch didn't work on me. since i haven't filled out a final four bracket in years, i'd never trade sterilization for the prospect of four days of uninterrupted hoop action. though the idea of sports-bar recovery rooms might be a little tempting, my perspective changed when i googled vasectomy and returned both nightmarish images and a cascade of ads for vasectomy reversal surgery. though i'm personally committed to the idea of permanent male birth control, there's a vas deferens between principle and practice.**
*this represents the second in an occasional series on inarguably clever yet personally troubling ideas.
**ouch. sorry, couldn't resist. at least i kept it out of the title line.