the real dukeman would belt him in the mouth

i delete most scam emails without reading them, but i can't resist some of the more creative offerings. today's inbox included the standard fare addressed to "Dear Sir or Ma" and "dearest one," as well as a more creative offering from "Captain Dukeman" with the eye-catching photos at left and below.

i'm intrigued by scammers' appeals to compassion, religion, patriotism, and simple greed, but also by the legitimizing details they include to let us know that this particular email is on the up and up. here, for example, captain dukeman was simply fighting the good fight against terrorists when he came across $14 million in cash. you can have 30 percent of the loot -- and there's pictures to prove it. invoking the duke is clever, of course, but invoking david duke(man) is just bizarre.

Dear Friend,
Let me start by introducing myself. I am Captain David Dukeman of the US marine forcescurrently serving in Iraq. My troops were deployedhere in Iraq since the start of the war, though I have visited home thrice since then. Just last week Tuesday we received an urgent call from Baghdad that some terrorists were camping there and my troops were sentthere to forestall their activities. On perceiving our presence, they first opened attack on us. There was nothing we could do rather than return fire. We were really under heavy fire. Finally, we brought the situation under control and some of them fled, 6 were killed and we were able to arrest 11 of them alive. When I was interrogating one of them, whom I got to know was their leader, to see if he could give us more useful information. After series of intense interrogation, he promised to show us where they kept their weapons.I took some of my men and went there not too far from karbala here in Iraq. When we alighted from our mobile units, he took us straight to a deserted building where inhabitants had vacated forlong because of the war.Later, he took us to a particular room inside the building where Guns andBombs were kept. I ordered my boys to search the other rooms. About 5 minutes later, one of them came backand took me to one of the rooms where there were five (5) trunk boxes. I opened them and to my amazement,there were loaded with US dollars. I was confused, I ordered him not to show or tell anybody about it andwe all returned to our base. At night of the same day, I took one of my men who found the boxes and we wentback there. We counted the money and they all amounted to $14million in $100 bills. Now, I need your help to transfer this money because I want it to be in safe hands. I want you to give me your name, contact address and bank account number so that I can send the money there for keeps. You will be given 30%, my boy who found the money will have 20% while I have the rest. I will come down there immediately you cash it for the sharing. Please, endeavor to keep this information secret. Don't disclose it to anybody for security reasons and to protect my interest with the US marine forces.I will take pictures/photos of the said trunk boxes filled with money for confirmatory purposes.
Best regards,
Captain. Dukeman