if we get caught it's all your fault...
while most folks pick out the day's wardrobe based on the anticipated formality of the day's meetings, some of us also consider the evening's mug shot potential. most days, i dress as the middle-aged suburban dork that i am, which fits nicely should i ever be popped for small-time embezzlement. on weekends, however, i tend toward scuffed boots, skinny (well, relatively skinny) jeans, snap-button shirts from nashville, and seriously distressed seventies-era leather. a mug shot in that garb portrays a desperate man, capable of most anything.
inspired by a domestic abuser with an i heart my marriage shirt, the smoking gun recently ran a series of mug shots with ill-timed t-shirt messages. trust me, you don't want to be busted in a shirt that says trouble finds me, i'm an alcoholic, not a drunk, or out on bail -- and you definitely don't want to go down wearing an if we get caught it's all your fault t-shirt. where does one even buy an if we get caught it's all your fault shirt? personally, i'd prefer to be arrested like a disgraced senator -- in a dark blue suit, crisp white shirt, and small-patterned red tie.
so, which item in your closet would make the most regrettable mug shot? i've tossed most of my really incriminating wardrobe over the years. in the bowels of my dresser, however, there still lurks a "killing myself to live" shirt from adolescence, some metal concert t's -- slayer probably sends the wrong message, eh? -- and a goofy "i'm with stupid" shirt that must date to the mid-70s. i'd like to think i'll never be arrested again, but i'll be prepared for the occasion should it ever come to pass.